A Revelation of Sorts...
Well, now I can't seem to stay awake past 4am. What is up with that I wonder? Perimenopause? Prednisone? No need to sleep a good 8 any longer? My dear mother-in-law once mentioned to me that getting older was not for wimps and I have come to believe her whole heartedly. But then I hear that lovely British screen writer at the Academy Awards (don't actors love to give themselves lots of awards?) of the movie The King's Speech, written while he was in his seventies and calling himself a late bloomer and I think there's hope that I don't get too depressed with the broken body and instead begin using my mind and creativity more than ever before. I think that is what that wonderful gentleman was eluding to. He might be old but he's far from useless. I loved that entire group of people and the humbleness they exuded while delivering their acceptance speeches. No foul language or stray f-bombs like that woman who won best supporting actress. I mean come on, is that really the best she can do. I heard she was horrified, and well should she be. Apologize profusely, I say!! If one has command of the English language there is absolutely no reason to swear, period.
Anyway, so no sleeping past 4am, great. Okay, I rest in the afternoon and that could be contributing to the early rising. Yesterday my husband had to catch a plane at 6am so we were up at 4. But today is a special day for me so I thought I would share some of it with you all.
Remember a few months ago when I was talking about seeing a woman who is a registered therapist but she takes her talents in a slightly different direction and helps her patients move bound up or blocked energy within the body using both talk therapy and body therapy. She looks to our higher selves through her uncanny ability to intuit her patients higher selves. She can see our selves better sometimes than we see ourselves and it is nothing short of amazing what transpires with her. Her company is called Wings of Freedom and I can certainly see why. After the discussion you are placed on a massage table and her hands go over the areas of your body where you have the most blockages. Mine rest squarely in my hips and in my entire pelvic girdle. It is where balance presides in the body as that is what the hips offer. Since I have had so many hip issues, I have lost my balance in life. And I need to find it again. So, when I left her office after 2 plus hours I felt like a million bucks. I had successfully unblocked some energy that had been blocking ME for a long long time. I am going back today to finish some residual work that needs to be done because I am now so in tune with my body enough that I can OBSERVE the blockages when I have them and do some emotional and physical work to unblock those areas within my body that need to be unhinged, unhooked, un-well-how ever you want to say it.
You begin each session with Maureen by talking about what is going on negativity wise that would necessitate the body to create a block. Emotional negativity is linked with increased pain within the body and that is what I am trying desperately to avoid and remove from my body. The more I can do this for myself the better off I am going to be from a chronic pain point too. It stands to reason doesn't it? Negativity/pain, pain/negativity. I am certainly not in as much pain when I am positive, emotionally grounded and excited about living. My body may still have its moments, but they are not as bad and not as long in duration. I still have pain don't get me wrong, but I am working on not having it has badly by changing my emotions. For instance, when I am writing or dabbling in writing my book I barely notice the nerve impingement in my L5S1 facet joint. I need to move every half hour or so, but it is not nearly as debilitating when I am doing something that brings me positive energy and joy. I am finding joy everywhere!!
As I have stated many times in this blog over these past few months that I had a lot of very negative life situations arise that nearly pulverized my emotions and my spirit. These negative situations culminated in debilitating physical problems and so I had to one by one sort through all of it. Physical, emotional, and spiritual issues so that I could come together again the whole and vibrant woman I am and always have been. I am different now, no doubt about it, but my creativity has never left me, my zest for life has not left me, (although I seriously thought it had at one point, my lowest point for sure),
What I am most happy and excited about is that God has used this time or season of suffering to change me in ways I would or could never have imagined. Sometimes in order to get our attention God needs to stop us cold and that has certainly been my experience. I was really, really mad at first and not accepting of a thing. I told someone the other day that what ever in my life I have been required to let go of has claw marks all over it. I am just not good at Letting Go and Letting God sometimes. Well, okay, most of the time. But I do eventually get with the program and when I do that the blessings and peace that come behind the suffering and the new knowledge that I have gained as a result of this difficult learning curve is nothing short of miraculous, wondrous, and an act of God's love for me that is insurmountable and humbles me to my knees in gratitude. Go figure.
Through pain, I learn humility, through humility I learn I am not God, through learning I am not God, God blessings me with prosperity, creativity, and new ways of looking at my life, but through how he would have me be not who I think I should be. It is the most incredible act of Love that I could ever imagine. Because if I love God in the good times, I had better love and trust Him in the seasons of suffering and his molding me into the person he wants me to be and become. What an amazingly lovingly thing to do to someone so undeserving.
I once heard a therapist or someone say that as people we should not learn to love ourselves. We already do that. Our job is to stop loving ourselves so much and love God and others. I think there's is some truth to this. All I know is that I am seeing Maureen today, and I am going to work on removing more negative energy from my body so that my body, mind, and spirit have a better opportunity to reside in the same vessel God gave me in a way that is more conducive to letting God's positivity into my body and into my life. My goal is to have faith. Faith no matter what my circumstance. Faith in God no matter what my head says to me. Faith in the fact that everything that God does for me is for my good whether I think so or not. That is pure unconditional LOVE.
So, Maureen here I come, open, willing, and ready to get some stuff out of my body so that God's grace can fill me up.
Thank you God for my life and for my broken body. I would never have learned so many wonderful things had I not been slowed down long enough to hear You.
Have a great day all and I will let you know what happens next....
Robin
No comments:
Post a Comment