Amendment

Yesterday's Blog Adjustment

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Major Hip Issues That Require Ortho Appt Today!

Yikes. I certainly did not mean for my blog yesterday to create hard feelings with the very people that I hold dear. The blog was more about me and less about the person I was directing my anger towards, so I hope I can settle that score immediately. It is always about me and my shortcomings and rarely about a person I think is the one creating the problem. It is up to me to set things right with the other person. Plus, she is so far in my past that I hardly think I need to do a thing, except it really bothers me that I can not stand up for myself in this regard and that's what I need to work on. Not the other person. So I apologize for any unnecessary worry with the people that I find incredible and extremely helpful in my life. Now, with that being said, I am going to address this issue in my life and after I do I will let you all know how it went.

Today's blog is all about my hip issues. On both sides wouldn't you know. Thank heaven's I have a really good relationship with my ortho people. The nursing staff work hard at getting me in to see DP or Dr. Palmer ( I call him DP and feel like I can since I have endured 6 hip surgeries with him) this morning at 8am. Which is quite a feat considering I live in St. Paul and he is in Stillwater. Nonetheless I am making the trip with two dogs in the car with me for support. No husband this time as he is in Dallas with JC Penney. Now that is a company to watch, but I digress....

My last set of xrays indicated that the cap on my titanium side was loosened when I did my near acrobatic fall on the ice a few weeks ago. That is creating quite a bit of pain on that side and also my IT band is loose and getting looser, which is not good. I keep at my PT hoping to get stronger --meaning strengthening the muscles around the IT band and cap need to be as strong as I can get them for their stability component. I must say after a round of PT I am a sore unit! Yikes.

Then my right side is shot. I have no idea what is going on-- on that side but it doesn't feel good I can tell you that! I can't lift my leg when it is bent, which means a possible psoas tendon tear. But, I can tell you right now that they can go right ahead and amputate it hurts that bad. So, I think as I have worked so hard at moving negative energy out of my body these are the areas where that energy is literally going to get cut out of me. Of course, this is me playing arm chair MD, which I love doing, but suffice to say that I am really tired of the pain that both of these hips are creating for me. I was doing really well in that department and now I am back to having severe pain again. However, not everything is lost! I am staying close to my loving God and I am going to keep working on guided visualization and guiding that negative energy and pain right out of my body and resting in the peace of knowing that by moving out the negative energy will make room for all of God's positive energy to move back into my body replacing the negative. I just love that image in my mind.

Maureen from Wings of Freedom asked me to give a color to healing energy in my mind. Well, being the color maven that I am, that was a super easy thing to do. So, I had my color and told her so. After that she asked me to literally paint that healing color all over the pain that I was experiencing so that it would cover over the pain and replace it with this new softer more fluid color. It is fascinating how this works, but within minutes my hips felt less tight. So, when I have severe pain, like right now, I visualize that color and paint it over where I am experiencing the worst of my pain, and voila! It helps ease the pain by settling my mind down. It really is about calming down my internal anxiousness around the pain. I must remember anxiousness and pain go hand-in-hand. One can not exist without the other. I slept really well last night despite the fact that I had taken a two hour nap yesterday afternoon. This is what my body wants so that is what it gets. I figure, if my body didn't need the rest I wouldn't be sleeping nor would I have the ability to sleep. So there.

Yesterday when I was at the dog park a woman came walking in with her dog. I have seen her before and she is an amazing person. She was born with no structure or cartilage in her joints. So, by the time she was five she had undergone quite a few extensive surgeries. My point is to say that she walked into the dog park she wasn't on crutches or on an electric cart nor was she labeling herself handicapped. As a matter of fact, she went ballistic at the mere mention of being called handicapped. She said she could accept being called limited but certainly not handicapped and I really, really liked the difference between those two words. She gave me an enormous sense of hope and she needed a new ortho guy. So, our meeting was no coincidence, I was able to give her my ortho guy and she was able to give me a sense of being limited and not handicapped.

The difference for me is that I am only limited by what I can or cannot do. I am not handicapped by what I can or cannot do. There's a big difference and I would rather be limited. Plus, Katharine has marvelous light in her eyes that radiate energy and enthusiasm. After all that she has n