Gripe Mode!!

Let's talk digestive issues shall we?

I am now sure that I am over 50 because suffice to say, my digestive system is not like it used to be. I am now literally having to swallow that I can no longer tolerate diary products or anything with a high fat content. My little digestive tract is rebelling at every turn when I am eating certain foods.

Let's just say I am saying good-bye to ice cream and now need to try yogurt/soy ice cream if I must have to have it. Last week I did my own experiment and purposely did not eat any ice cream, including Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. Oh, I am swooning from the mere thought of taking these things out of my diet! I love dessert and can eat it in the middle of day as well!! However, this is what I did last night as a little experiment. I simply love being an armchair MD! However, I ate wonderful organic foods and cooked from the South Beach and Anti-Inflammatory diet and never felt better. Then I had a pretty large (okay, HUGE) bowl of Kemp's Cow Tracks ice cream, ate several pieces of home made pizza with tons of cheese and then ended that dinner with a nice heaping blend of ice cream. Not good. Body rebelled. Last time that will happen. Must change diet! It is as simple as that. Argh!

I am back on the Actvia deal and will hopefully see some changes soon. But, every day I am working on sending positive energy to my entire body and I have complete faith in the fact that I am doing wonderful things to my body and equally wonderful things to my spirit.

Cheers and I will check in later to let you know of my success!

Robin

Now, it is off to do my morning exercises and then perhaps walk. My body will tell me what it needs to day. All I need to do is listen to it. How come it is that things can be so chimpanzee simple and I still don't understand.

Updating and Moving Forward!

Trust God -- Move Forward

I am being a little delinquent in some of my responsibilities. And for me that is nothing short of amazing. You see I am one of those types of people who MUST do everything correctly and perfectly or I freak out. I think having this quality is not necessarily a good thing because I have put an undue amount of pressure on myself to have my own distinctly appropriate brand identity. I have lived more or less a bit off the center of things and I find it amusing to call my colorful even being in the color business! For instance, I went back to school in my, okay to mention one. Oh, I married my true love in my early thirties even after a scathingly horrible relationship I have entitled 'the situation' brought me to the point of telling daters this little mantra:: 'What you see is what you get and if you don't like me there's the door.' To Mitch's credit, he thought that was a fantastic sentence and still recalls it with laughter. Not fear. Hah!

Now, trying to be perfect isn't exactly the worst habit I can think of having, but I must be able to look all around me to see who is dealing with who? Or is that whom? I can never recall how to do that. Meaning, this perfectionism thing bugs the heck out of the very people I love the most. Mainly my dear Husband! During our marriage he and I have done a pretty good job of being each others strongest advocate, and his more laid back qualities counter my personality traits so we end up balancing each other out. Which is wonderful and quite a surprise from God because I never saw Mitch coming. He was like stealth bomber. He was silent and sweet and delicious and before I knew it he was asking me to marry him. Ah, no more situation, PTL!!

Anyway, yes, I am shirking my duties of being a being the classic first born and a national Overachievadiva. Many years ago I had that domain name purchased but I think I left the information go south. Well, I have had an epiphany of sorts. The kind that is making me both excited and vulnerable simultaneously. I am not going into details quite yet, but suffice to say that I am in the throes of figuring out exactly how I will move forward. The trust God scenario makes total sense to me but to actually go about doing that daily requires effort and complete willingness on my part. In other words, waiting on God is what truly separates the men from the boys. It takes calm aim and the type of perseverance that never taking my eye off the ball requires. I love the challenge of waiting on God because it stretches me out of the box of my own making, and also gives more power to never taking my eye off the ball.

However, the word wait has never been in my vocabulary. For me it has always been, bigger, better, faster, more. Living at that pace isn't exactly a great thing either because life speeds by when I am racing around. It must be immensely tiring to God having to run after me all time. HA! So, I must stop myself before things really get tiring!!

Funny, even as I write this I am actually calming down a little bit. I am no longer on deadline, heck, I don't even have a job outside the home. My greatest and most important job is to take care of my husband our home and our posse of animals. How great is that, I ask you?? I don't think my life has ever been better and yet I keep searching outside of myself for that one little glimmer of something else and I think I know what it is I just need to fall back and let the tide glide me around towards dry land. I am still working on ramping up The RockinR Design Group, Extraordinarily Creative, website, well, whoa Nelly, putting the cart before the horse here I think. Yikes, it is that easy. I am still working on tweaking my own company's brand identity and we stay fixed and focused on everything that will have The RockinR on it. However, this time, no paper Grasshopper! For those of you who are too young to know it, Grasshopper was coined back in the 70's in a TV show with David Carridine called, Kung Fu. Gosh, the things one remembers from the younger days. What a hoot.

So, I hope to keep you appraised of all that I hope to begin doing this summer. I am taking my time and letting God run the show. Funny, how when I step aside, miracles happen, but I must be willing to let go of the controls.

LOVE is all around. I live in a gorgeous warehouse-type artists loft complete with two balconies. But, while taking my dog to the dog park I smell the lilacs at the park just blooming away. It is wonderful this life of ours. I am no longer going at warp speed, Scotty. Oh, no, now it is how many things can happen to me without me telling God how things will go down. What a silly, immature notion too. I am not bigger than God, I just think I am from time to time. I would imagine that God laughs and laughs at me. Ha!

Checking back in Roger Ramjet. Now where on earth did that come from I ask? Roger Ramjet...if you know, please let me know.

RC

Love is Everything

Love. Love. Love.

God has placed in front of me a new person to learn from. I have always heard that when the student is ready the teacher appears. This is certainly very clear to me right now.

This will be a short and sweet musing this morning, but I will say this. I am learning first hand the power of positive thinking and living and breathing in the moment. If you haven't read it get the book 'The Power of Now'. I am taking things on using baby steps and not letting ANY negative thinking take hold in my mind. I am simply ready for my inner life to change and the only way to do that is to stay focused on living in the now and being positive about everything I think about.

If you consider this easy, I challenge you do try it for an hour. Rearranging old negative thinking patterns is hard work, but the rewards so sweet.

Reaching for God is a Powerful action.

I am up for this action. Wow.

Much much more to come.

R

Finally, An Early Morning Musing!

Early Early Early Morning Musings This Time!

I am going to continue discerning God's intention for me more than I have ever before. To be truthful, I am not entirely sure I have ever really prayed to know what God has wanted me to do, rather, I pray for others constantly. I enjoy prayerful times with God for others but never for me. I am learning that that is not always the correct thing to do. So, instead, I am being asked by my spiritual mentor to give my questions to God and then sit still and listen for answers. Run them by someone if I must or feel insecure, but that these should lesson over time and practice. Perhaps this is why meditation is called practice. Interesting.

However, one wonderful thing happening tonight is that I will be attending my dear friend Honey Man's (well, okay, if you must know his real name, Gregg Rotvold's) church choir rehearsal. I will not be able to attend their main performance this weekend, but at least I will be able to watch Gregg perform with the choir he is so happy to be a part of. As I sit back and watch the changes Gregg has made in his life, I want to make some of my own. I am actually thrilled at the thought of it. I think in many ways we are making them simultaneously. Perhaps it is because we are the same age.

So, I think today, I will put pen to paper and acknowledge the changes that I wish to make. Pray about them, and see what happens. God has never let the people down whom I pray for so I find it unlikely that He will not help me. The thought is actually amusing to think this way. I also owe someone I love dearly an amend. I plan on tackling that today too.

Well, lots on the docket. I am happy that my behavior is good and one I can be proud of. I am happy that the people that I associate with are kind-hearted and loving. I am glad that I am loving towards myself and towards others. My new motto:: I Know More Than I Think I Know.

So there! Ha.

I will let you know how the concert goes too. Rock on Rock, you are loved!

Robin

More Hiatuses...is that a word?

A little hiccup in my diddi-up!!

Oops. Please forgive me for such a long period of time in between musings. I have actually been busy. Yes, busy. First of all I had my seventh hip surgery about five weeks ago and so that put me down for about three weeks. Then I slowly started to be able to lift my right leg up. You see, over the winter when I did my swing-a-long-with Robin routine, trying desperately not to fall down on my titanium side (left) I ended up tearing the psoas tendon in my right hip, which required surgery. Dear Lord! I can't win! So, off I went to surgery where the wonderful David Palmer did his seventh bit of work on my hips. However, here's the good news in all of this slowing down. It made me begin to listen to myself. To hear what my Holy Spirit was telling me, and most importantly, how to begin to trust myself. Trust myself. I have no idea at what point in my life I began not to, but I did. So, at 52 I believe I am finally beginning to listen to this most powerful inner guidance. It is nothing short of amazing.

During this listening process I have been guided by my inner self to make some very big changes. Changes that I have needed to make for a long time, but have been very afraid of making. Somewhere along the line of my life I have let others do my thinking for me. I have listened to their guidance and dutifully taken that guidance whether I thought it was right or not. Well, I am not willing to do as much of that any longer. Listening to others is often good if it is accompanied by the wisdom of not repeating mistakes, which can be very costly both time-wise and financially. If taking guidance from someone who has been through something I am going through and can offer their wisdom to spare me, that is good! However, I believe I have been listening to myself for a long time already but have been too afraid to truly TRUST myself to make my own decisions about myself, my marriage and my life.

For instance, I have had a friend who for years has belittled me, called me names, and basically treated me very poorly and I have accepted this friend as a condition of our friendship. It doesn't occur often, but it occurs and then it dawned on me. Would I treat myself in this manner? Would I treat others in this manner? Is this acceptable behavior from someone who professes to love me, as she does? I love this woman, I truly do. She and I have been friends for years and it hasn't been all the time, just sometimes. But, is sometimes even okay with me? The answer is a resounding NO. So, I have made the decision to keep my distance from her and not accept unacceptable behavior from her or anyone else for that matter. I have learned through my illnesses that any form of negativity is not good for me. Period. I want to surround myself with love, light, and the positivity and love of God.

I have a junior high and high school girl friend who is probably one of the strongest women I know. She has had to endure many physical illnesses and has done so with power, grace, and dignity. That is what I want my new me to look like. These are the attributes that I have inside me that I have never let out due to fear. Well, people, the boxing gloves are going back on, because I want some of the Robin back that got lost in all the physical ailments. The feelings of being a victim and why me? Nope, not any more. I am going to begin to unleash the Robin who I remember as being tough, happy, and healthy. I can be all of these things despite having bad hips and a chronic illness/chronic pain predicament. Because I have a hunch that I have buried that girl and it is time for her to come back out. I can hardly wait to see what happens next.

Much, much more to come.

Namaste,

Robin

Little Hiatus

Guilty As Charged!

Can you believe it has been nearly a month since I have logged on and started to write my musings? Well, I have to admit I do have good reason. I had surgery about one month ago and it has been a slow recovery. I find the older I get the longer my recovery time is, so I must proceed with this information accordingly.

I had my seventh, yes, seventh hip surgery. This one was the third on my right side. I have no labrum left in that hip joint and my bone is corroded as the dickens from all the osteoarthritis and RA coursing through my system.

Here's some hope for you! I am going to see an Naturopathic Doctor at Woodwinds ASAP for a consultation. My dream is to meld eastern philosophy with western medicine practice for a more balanced approach to self care. I can't wait. I will tell you all about it after my first visit. I will scheduling that today. I heard about it from my holistic therapist, Julia Clowney, who is just a power house of great information. I am sick and tired of prednisone being the go-to medicine for most of the docs that I see and I am sick and tired of what the ramifications of that drug are, so presto, poof, gone. Not doing it anymore. No more injections, (exception is made for my L5S1 back inpingement, that requires the big guns). However, no more injections in my hips or hip bursa's I am done with that drug, period. End of report. Have I made myself clear???

Now, on another subject and then I have to get going. I have two dear friends on the east coast who are in dire need of more prayers. If you will join me in your devotionals to a higher power, my one friend is Sue who is fighting for her life with 3rd degree burns over 60% of her body and the other is Eric who is remarkably battling a gleoblastoma brain tumor. Please include these names to your prayer list or chain. I would appreciate it.

Okay, more later, promise.

Robin