Updating and Moving Forward!

Trust God -- Move Forward

I am being a little delinquent in some of my responsibilities. And for me that is nothing short of amazing. You see I am one of those types of people who MUST do everything correctly and perfectly or I freak out. I think having this quality is not necessarily a good thing because I have put an undue amount of pressure on myself to have my own distinctly appropriate brand identity. I have lived more or less a bit off the center of things and I find it amusing to call my colorful even being in the color business! For instance, I went back to school in my, okay to mention one. Oh, I married my true love in my early thirties even after a scathingly horrible relationship I have entitled 'the situation' brought me to the point of telling daters this little mantra:: 'What you see is what you get and if you don't like me there's the door.' To Mitch's credit, he thought that was a fantastic sentence and still recalls it with laughter. Not fear. Hah!

Now, trying to be perfect isn't exactly the worst habit I can think of having, but I must be able to look all around me to see who is dealing with who? Or is that whom? I can never recall how to do that. Meaning, this perfectionism thing bugs the heck out of the very people I love the most. Mainly my dear Husband! During our marriage he and I have done a pretty good job of being each others strongest advocate, and his more laid back qualities counter my personality traits so we end up balancing each other out. Which is wonderful and quite a surprise from God because I never saw Mitch coming. He was like stealth bomber. He was silent and sweet and delicious and before I knew it he was asking me to marry him. Ah, no more situation, PTL!!

Anyway, yes, I am shirking my duties of being a being the classic first born and a national Overachievadiva. Many years ago I had that domain name purchased but I think I left the information go south. Well, I have had an epiphany of sorts. The kind that is making me both excited and vulnerable simultaneously. I am not going into details quite yet, but suffice to say that I am in the throes of figuring out exactly how I will move forward. The trust God scenario makes total sense to me but to actually go about doing that daily requires effort and complete willingness on my part. In other words, waiting on God is what truly separates the men from the boys. It takes calm aim and the type of perseverance that never taking my eye off the ball requires. I love the challenge of waiting on God because it stretches me out of the box of my own making, and also gives more power to never taking my eye off the ball.

However, the word wait has never been in my vocabulary. For me it has always been, bigger, better, faster, more. Living at that pace isn't exactly a great thing either because life speeds by when I am racing around. It must be immensely tiring to God having to run after me all time. HA! So, I must stop myself before things really get tiring!!

Funny, even as I write this I am actually calming down a little bit. I am no longer on deadline, heck, I don't even have a job outside the home. My greatest and most important job is to take care of my husband our home and our posse of animals. How great is that, I ask you?? I don't think my life has ever been better and yet I keep searching outside of myself for that one little glimmer of something else and I think I know what it is I just need to fall back and let the tide glide me around towards dry land. I am still working on ramping up The RockinR Design Group, Extraordinarily Creative, website, well, whoa Nelly, putting the cart before the horse here I think. Yikes, it is that easy. I am still working on tweaking my own company's brand identity and we stay fixed and focused on everything that will have The RockinR on it. However, this time, no paper Grasshopper! For those of you who are too young to know it, Grasshopper was coined back in the 70's in a TV show with David Carridine called, Kung Fu. Gosh, the things one remembers from the younger days. What a hoot.

So, I hope to keep you appraised of all that I hope to begin doing this summer. I am taking my time and letting God run the show. Funny, how when I step aside, miracles happen, but I must be willing to let go of the controls.

LOVE is all around. I live in a gorgeous warehouse-type artists loft complete with two balconies. But, while taking my dog to the dog park I smell the lilacs at the park just blooming away. It is wonderful this life of ours. I am no longer going at warp speed, Scotty. Oh, no, now it is how many things can happen to me without me telling God how things will go down. What a silly, immature notion too. I am not bigger than God, I just think I am from time to time. I would imagine that God laughs and laughs at me. Ha!

Checking back in Roger Ramjet. Now where on earth did that come from I ask? Roger Ramjet...if you know, please let me know.

RC