This Christmas Season
I have been Christmas shopping using cash and no credit for the first time in my married life and it feels extraordinarily responsible and stressless. Mitch and celebrated 17 years of marriage on the 15th. We now say to each other we have been married 17 plus 2. What a hoot. Anyway, I would never have thought I could ever stay married to the same person for over 17 years of my life. It is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. Period. When we were standing in the parking lot of Fleet Farm, my childhood chum and over 30 years married friend, Nancy Senne once told me to ride the waves in marriage. Some years will go by which are fantastic and some will go by that are difficult and challenging, but no matter what, you stay together and ride the waves. One of my worst mistakes is to constantly say to Mitch:: I am getting a divorce! When we argue about something. Well, one of my serious objectives for 2011 is to not say that any more. It is definitely something that I don't want to follow through on and so it is a threat I would not carry out. Hence, it is meaningless. However, it is hurtful and unnecessary. It only serves to undermine our commitment to one another and it doesn't work anymore. It also makes me feel bad when I do it to him. So, out the door it goes.
I will write more about what I foresee for the future in 2011 because I have a very, very good feeling about next year. I am getting my good mojo back and it is filling me with good vibes and a joyous heart. Even the loss of dear Steve will not hurt my positive momentum as we move into the new year. I only wish that Steve was here to move into 2011 with all of us. That loss was one that took be completely off guard and is one I will grieve for some time. He was a man with one of the kindest hearts you will ever find. I was happy to call him friend and my very first boyfriend in 6th grade. Although I think Kirk was my 5th grade boyfriend....but I digress....I will miss Steve's laugh and our bond of chronic pain issues and the struggles that accompany having that to contend with. Chronic pain moves into every facet of a persons life and it permeates every aspect of a persons daily functioning. Horrible is another way of putting it. Pain is horrible and getting it under control is what Steve was trying to accomplish. I will miss our long conversations and his positive attitude towards everything he came into contact with. He will be missed. I haven't done my rosary for him yet but I will this weekend. We have a long car ride in front of us and between knitting I will be praying for him, for my step-mother and for family and friends in general. What a great way to spend a day!!
Now, the painters will be here any minute and I am too excited for words! My home is coming together effortlessly. By the first of the new year I will have beautiful new walls that are bright and light and magnificent. Then I will have a new birch hardwood floor that will be bright and light and magnificent. Just wait! Pictures will be arriving soon and the transformation will be nothing short of spectacular. I am like a caterpillar making her way out of the cocoon. New and exciting things are here daily. I am thrilled. I will also have brand new glasses which are pink and green. Yep, you read correctly. I will now be seeing the world with rose colored glasses, well, in this case, pink colored glasses, but nonetheless, they will be perfect, positive and peppy! Rock on RockinR!! Joy comes from the heart and it is certainly in mine. PTL baby!! Hah.
More to come people and please stay in touch!
Robin
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