One of my greatest regrets is not having children, however...
God has given me many different ways of mothering and that has been a miracle. I find it so ironic that the very people that have four or five kids don't really want them. They do everything BUT raise their children with character, self discipline and self respect. Then, the people who do want to have them don't have the opportunity. I have always said that God and I would do some talking when I saw him in heaven because I think I got a raw deal in this mix of life. However, there's always a reason in God's world and who am I to judge that reason. I can only cry every tear over the loss and move forward, trusting that God will provide me with other ways to mother. And boy has that come my way. I am so grateful. Mothering and having a child are two totally different things in my book.
But still the magic of Christmas is the time I have a tinge of regret. I have never heard the pitter patter of little feet coming down the stairs at the crack of dawn, spotting the Christmas cookies and milk freshly eaten and seeing their little expressions while they gaze at the many wonderfully and colorfully wrapped gifts that lay under the brightly lit tree. I think I would have loved witnessing that year after year with children. But a couple of gifts were given to me nonetheless. First, my sister had four gorgeous children and when I could get from California to Minnesota for Christmas I was able to participate in this wonderful yearly event. I recall one year when my niece, Sarah, was going through her-- I am wearing my slip ALL the time under everything phase,--running down the hallway with her slip hanging out from under her pj's, eyes wide with excitement and anticipation and ready to rip open some presents that Santa brought to her in the night. That girl was a riot and still is all these years later. My sister and her husband did such a great job in creating Christmas delight for their children and it was just fantastic to witness. They say that Christmas really is for children, but I have a slightly different take on that subject, of course.
My second gift was a little longer in coming. But, I found myself eagerly waking this morning, fresh with delight and anticipation and all we're doing is renting a Suburban and traveling to see Mitch's family in Ohio. But, every year, I wake at 4:30am ready to rumble, get the car packed, make the bed in the back of the land yacht for me, and of course, all of our animals, which consist of two 95 pound English Labrador Retrievers--one yellow and one black. And yes, even the cat comes along for the ride. We have a no cat left behind rule so she gets a small dose of kitty quaalude and off we go. I guess this is our form of Christmas delight. Our little way of expressing the joys of the Christmas season. But I do notice one thing. I am not thinking a lot about God in this little scenario and isn't this really the whole point? These Christmas rituals are fantastic but they are not the reason for the season as the bumper stickers point out.
No, the reason for the season is the birth of Jesus Christ. So it doesn't really matter much if I had children or not, if the tree was loaded with presents for the kids. Or if I have decorated the new three tree rule in the Mc Mansions these days. No, I am truly blessed by the fact that Jesus was born to save me and that is really the ultimate gift I could ever have received. Period.
Merry Christmas to all of you who are reading my silly musings. Mitch and I wish you all have joy and harmony in your home on this glorious of days:: December 25, 2010.
Merry, Merry, Christmas--Robin + Mitch
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